"Men Are from Mars, Women and ..." under this title of the couples therapist John Gray has published a guide for the partnership. He assumes that men and women have different needs and we need to know the differences, if we want to avoid relationship problems.
Instead of expecting that the partner thinks, feels and acts like us, we should accept it in its otherness. Instead of constantly criticizing the partner or us annoyed by him to retreat, we see our partner if we know their needs, meet with love. Rather than divide us, or tear, we can rejoice in him.
"Men and women have not only a different way of making themselves understood, they think, feel, love and enjoy another way. They also take their environmental responsibilities fundamentally different and have different needs. It is as if they came from two different planets and speak different languages. " (John Gray). Knowing these differences can avoid relationship problems.
Men and women must learn to accept themselves to each other with their differences. You must learn to meet their partner's needs, he has really, and not the ones you want to get even met. Only then love has a chance and we can avoid relationship problems.
Let's look at what men and women need to feel loved.
When women feel loved?
To feel loved, women need
- that the partner will listen and try to understand their feelings, without having to give advice
- that the partner offering them compassion instead of solutions
- that the partner provides support and assistance
- that the partner is working to partner with them
- that the partners accept their feelings and do not reduce down
- that he is not breaking records. "Come to the point You should not make so much worry this is not so bad.."
- he lets them talk about their problems with stress and emotions
- feel lovingly treated, cared for and respected
- the feeling that something special to be
- feel listened to and understood to be
- the feeling that the rights, wishes and needs to be accepted and have priority over those of the man, he, for example agreements will not forget
- feel that he provides for them and assured them his love again
- to daily signals, gestures and verbal confirmation to be loved
- feel involved in decisions and asked for the opinion to be
- a long prelude to experience sexual fulfillment
- Petting, cuddling and intimate hugs
- that he deals with little things that are important to them
- be treated feel more important than all others (to be greeted first), get special attention and indeed as the very first.
When relationship problems occur, they are always two people involved, that is going to cause problems for the relationship to both!
What Is The "Magic Relationship Words" That Make Sure You Say It Right Every Time ?
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When men feel loved?
To feel loved, a man needs
- that the partner is not always nags at him, but he accepted
- that the partner did not constantly criticized, controlled and improved with some comments like "You forgot again ... You should order a craftsman."
- that they underestimated their competence and performance and solutions he trusts
- to him his interest in sports, high tech and cars can
- the feeling of being autonomous and cope without outside help
- permission to identify problems at first with themselves
- it will help only if he expressly requests
- that they withdraw it from stress and problems, and leaves him alone (reading the paper look, football, zap through the TV ... without him with constant questions, "You did what" to annoy)
- feel appreciated and needed to be
- his freedom and his confidence in problem-solving skills when he says:. "There's nothing wrong It's all right."
- it recognizes that its efforts
- the permission to retire now and then, in order to confirm its autonomy and independence
- that it does not demand that he should talk about his feelings
- the feeling of being admired
- that he can offer a solution to problems with stress, woman asks him for advice when
- No accusations, "I told you so ... You know that ..."
- Trust , acceptance and recognition rather than accusation, doubting, criticism and condemnation
- that she asks for help and he has the freedom to reject the request
- that the partner he is grateful for certain activities
- recognition is to achieve a positive change in the lives of others
- that in his abilities, honesty believes, integrity, reliability and sincerity.
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